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About Literature / Hobbyist The-Fair-WandererFemale/United States Recent Activity
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Mature Content


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I know the circumstances
Have taken a lesser turn
And that there
Is a small yet screaming
Part of you
That truly hates me
For the mess
That I’ve made
Yet you won’t a aknowledge it

Fall fades to winter
Winter turns bitter
Cold in fingers
Frosty in heart
Pain bleeds hot
Sadness runs blue

Perfect makeup
Neat hair
Cute clothes
Designed nails
It all amounts to nothing
For i feel a gap
A lack in my being

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Another late night
Can’t rest my mind
Empty conversations
Mean nothing to me
I find them to be infuriating
Not easy and soothing
I want to talk to you
Let the words roll smooth once again
But that’s not my right
Not within my ability

My beautiful scared boy
I remember the early morning light
Slowly shedding over your skin
A textured landscape upon delicate ivory
Pink criss crossing
You felt self conscious
But I thought it stunning
They told a silent story
One that mesmerized me beyond belief
One that I could harmonize
Made me cover my arms
So as to put the spotlight on you
Your scars so much stronger
I didn’t tell you then
But I admired you
For being resilient
Despite your young year pain

I lay here upon the floor
Reminiscing
Mind awake and sad
I never meant to hurt you
Just wanted to protect you
But that’s what all the bad guys say ,
Isn’t it ?

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Another night
Cold and crisp
Smoke floats tender
From my lips
Words linger in my mind
And I realize that sleep is a far off dream
The night is cold and dark
A frozen wasteland of desert winds
Sadness drapes it’s cloak
Over my thin bare shoulders
And wraps it’s frigid fingers round my heart
Amazing I can still feel
After so long of these
Tormented sleepless nights
I want solace
But all I have is smoke
Blowing about me in a little vortex
So I take another puff
Extinguish my cigarette
And go inside
Turn on the alarm
Swallow the sad
Along with some cough medicine
And wait
For the numb emptiness
To take over my brain
Squash the thoughts
That start to trickle in
And let them memories
Of my long gone past
Wash over me
His young grinning proud smile
Is the last thing I see
Little did he know
It’d be years before
I’d see it again

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So many years
Spent trying to please you
So many moments wasted
With blind eyes
My rock
My family
Turned to exile
You’ve made this monster
With the pretty pained eyes
With the cunning smile
With the painted face full of empty promises
With the lithe black widow body
And the empty heart
You made this creature
As selfish as one can be
A monster out for only its own pleasure
Taking
Never giving
Breaking hearts
And minds alike

I ensnared him in the early days
And it blossomed
Alongside my pain
For I knew it could not last
Someone as broken as he
Needed more than
The play doh barbie
You created
But I stayed
Because with him I was content
But then the day came
That I had baked so long
Under the heat of scrutiny
That I cracked
Sending his happiness
Spiraling across the floor
And the joy gave way
Shattered amongst
Those before him

I had hoped there would be
A different ending for him
I had cautioned him
But when one is in love
They’re quite blind
Now he sees your monster
But it’s too late
This is beyond repair
The play doh girl
Doesn’t play for others to keep
Unless at her wish
This wish has blown away in the desert wind

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My future is in your hands
My safety in your arms
Promises
Whispered quietly between lovers
A gentle caress
Speaks a thousand volumes
You are my sanctuary
Your love , my freedom
Wed to you
Is my dream
Holy matrimony
Until recently
A demon of unknown power
Now made savior
You are my light
You are my flame
Steady as an endless candle
Your love burns bright and true
Fear is still present
But worth our forever shared
Risks are unknown and unending
But with you by my side
And me by yours
I know we will make it through
The princess and the jester
In love forever

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My life is all the same
Sitting at the top of these stairs
Afraid to join the party
Afraid to go back inside
The fear of social interaction
The fear of being alone
Watching the ongoing
Of other people's lives
Looking through the window of desperation
Hiding behind the cigarette of false hope
Fake confidence
Hide the pain in a bowl
Light it up
Inhale the memories
Breathe out silent screams
A mask like no other
Don't you date shed a tear
The dark hides my face
Makeup hides the truth
The sleepless nights
Laying beside you this morning
In the messed up sweaty sheets
A night fulfilled
A dream long ago given over
A hotel bed
So symbolic
A night like no other in a place I don't call home
Kindness beneath your rough touch
But at daybreak it was gone
Our night slipped away
A kiss on my lips
Lingering still
Now , Hours later
But not the meaning I wish it to hold
You're on your flight back to your home
I'm sitting at the top of these stairs
Starting up at the empty sky
Alone again
The smell of your skin
Still dancing on mine
Light up another cigarette
Try to down the elixir
But the effort is futile
This won't end well
I'm going to end up on the top of these stairs
Night after night
And let the memories crash over me
Like the waves at the beach
I hear over the blare of rap music
These stairs are my constant

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The-Fair-Wanderer

Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States

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:iconakira152:
Akira152 Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2015
I see you :p
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:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the devWatch :) (Smile) And welcome to dA! Feel free to flag me down if you need any help, or just check out my welcome journal: Welcome New People!
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